It’s official: Keir Starmar has pledged to not disagree with the Conservative party on anything. In a development that is of no surprise to anyone, he has indeed pledged to be a good little Tory. In a forthcoming speech to the CBI, Sir Keir, is promising not to ‘throw cash at’ the UK’s problems. In … Continue reading Breaking breaking broken — Starmer promises Tories to be good little boy
Priti Patel: “Comin’ over ‘ere expecting not to be killed”
With yet another death in detention of an asylum seeker and criticism of Britain’s human rights from whoever, The Cannibal’s Gazette has invited Home Secretary Priti Patel to defend her policies concerning asylum seekers. Bloody so called asylum seekers, comin' over 'ere expecting not to be killed. That’s entitlement that is, that’s taking the piss. … Continue reading Priti Patel: “Comin’ over ‘ere expecting not to be killed”
The Cannibal’s Gazette Keir Starmer interview
CannGaz: Thank you for joining us Sir Keir. The Tories have been dishing out government contracts worth billions of pounds to their donors and old school friends, in many cases these people were not experienced or competent in the areas of expertise for which they were paid. So while they got fat, they failed to … Continue reading The Cannibal’s Gazette Keir Starmer interview
That Labour fightback in full
Image by Chris Page When you have no ideas, just wrap yourself in the flag. Works for rabid nationalists every time. PS: Mr Keir Starmer, if you want some ideas, look in Mr Corbyn's Labour manifesto, there are lots of good ideas in there. You're welcome.
Small-handed, bouffant, bloated, bloviating fuckwad. Non-builder of walls. Son of frigid sociopathic privilege. Man baby. Rich kid. Cry baby. Man boob. Master of delusion. Twitter Tourettic. Fabulist. Anacoluthon. Blob. Orange supremacist. Racist. Narcissist. Solipsist. Rentier. Arriviste. Arsonist. Insurrectionist. Knee-jerk-jerk-jerk fascist, champion of Tiki torch warriors. Golfer. America’s Nero. Emperor encephalitis. Parasite. Mushroom prick. Cockwomble. Chump. … Continue reading 45
The behind the scenes deals that seal no deal
Of course there’s no deal. There was never meant to be a deal. The talk, the manoeuvring, the posturing, the negotiations have been an elaborate pantomime, a pretence at getting a deal because no deal was what Johnson and his sponsors actually wanted. No deal was a hard sell to the British public so the … Continue reading The behind the scenes deals that seal no deal
Trump’s achievements ranked!
10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. He lost everything! Loser Trump art by Nails Nathan
The prettiest Priti of all possible pretty Pritis
Priti Patel is not a bully. We know that because when she heard we were doing an article on her, she came round, broke our pencils, put gravel in the coffee maker, then set fire to the hamster and smacked our heads with its smoking remains. So that’s clear and definite, then. Priti is not … Continue reading The prettiest Priti of all possible pretty Pritis
That election: What’s next?
Image: Chris Page
Priti’s balls-up of string
Build a wall, and build it of finest string! This is Priti Patel in Trump mode on discovering that bricks and barbed wire don’t float. As democracy burns in the UK, Prime Minister Cummings is determined we should keep our eyes firmly locked on displaced families floundering in the Channel, and there is no better … Continue reading Priti’s balls-up of string