Tales from the Magic Money Tree

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.” — Margaret Hilda Thatcher Once upon a time ago there was-wasn’t a magic money tree. When the keeper of the magic money tree gave it a good shake, money would-wouldn’t magically fall from its boughs.  The tree was so magic it … Continue reading Tales from the Magic Money Tree

The prettiest Priti of all possible pretty Pritis

Priti Patel is not a bully. We know that because when she heard we were doing an article on her, she came round, broke our pencils, put gravel in the coffee maker, then set fire to the hamster and smacked our heads with its smoking remains.  So that’s clear and definite, then.  Priti is not … Continue reading The prettiest Priti of all possible pretty Pritis

Yob

One Enchanted evening in Whites: so, let us start honestly, without indulging in faux ideological one-upmanship, or casually pretending that back-in-the-day I sat in snug splendour upon a warm seat of influence as a committee member in the Comintern; or even gigged as junior editor of Lotta Continua. I did, but that’s a whole new scandal, a cast of … Continue reading Yob

Priti’s balls-up of string

Build a wall, and build it of finest string! This is Priti Patel in Trump mode on discovering that bricks and barbed wire don’t float.  As democracy burns in the UK, Prime Minister Cummings is determined we should keep our eyes firmly locked on displaced families floundering in the Channel, and there is no better … Continue reading Priti’s balls-up of string

Twenty-seven uses for bananas — don’t choke when you see the last one!

How many uses for a banana are there? I can think of a few. mimikaki ear cleaner for people with large earsif tied to the bottom of feet they are a cheap alternative to roller blades by virtue of the slippy quality of banana skinsa crutch for a small person a device for cleaning around the … Continue reading Twenty-seven uses for bananas — don’t choke when you see the last one!

Window Shopping with l’Étranger

In a mall, pressing against those glass exteriors fronting numerous interchangeable shops; it could be an emporium dedicated to exclusive Provençal face cream- whatever, I stare inside like a piqued Martian. Part of the reason I’m outside involves exogenous factors: born into a small family flat, rented by unhappy parents, battling, blaming, adventurously polygamous, accusatory, uneducated, … Continue reading Window Shopping with l’Étranger