Tales from the Magic Money Tree

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.” — Margaret Hilda Thatcher Once upon a time ago there was-wasn’t a magic money tree. When the keeper of the magic money tree gave it a good shake, money would-wouldn’t magically fall from its boughs.  The tree was so magic it … Continue reading Tales from the Magic Money Tree

Ten things you definitely shouldn’t do while holding scissors

Here are ten things you shouldn't do while holding scissors: 1) Use the toilet. 2) Attend the school dance. 3)  Jump off the high dive at the public swimming pool. 4)  Go skydiving. 5)  Walk into the Louvre. 6)  Show up at a hospital nursery. 7)  Look your best friend in the eyes and say, … Continue reading Ten things you definitely shouldn’t do while holding scissors

Russell Howard: the obituary

Obituary: 2020 is shaping up to be, without question an annus horribilis, for many reasons; not just because of our farkakte Prime Minster & assembled conservative clowns, but for the unanticipated depletion of UK light entertainment & great British games shows. Sadly we’ve whispered tearful adieus to many tragically departed troupers, the like of whom … Continue reading Russell Howard: the obituary

Tory Twats — no.27 in an infinite series — Lord Bethell

The Right Royal Cockwomble Award, an all-too-frequent honour bestowed exclusively by The Cannibal’s Gazette. The Right Honourable The Lord ‘Jim’ Bethell Lord Bethell this week reassured a nation of dispossessed teens whose life chances have just been shit away by a Tory shit-making algorithm that having your head forcibly held in a bucket of liquid … Continue reading Tory Twats — no.27 in an infinite series — Lord Bethell

In memoriam: Arron Banks


In memoriam: Baron Wanks, who is drowning in a sea of his own shit.

This week, Brexit bankroller Arron Banks wished a 16-year-old girl, environmental campaigner Greta Thunberg dead.

No comment is necessary.

But I’m going to comment anyway.

This is what Brexit, UKIP, the Brexit Party, the Conservatives and all their supporters are about. Death threats and actual murder (Jo Cox).

That’s it.

No, that’s not it.

There is an intimate relationship between Brexit and the climate crisis. A certain demographic in the world of money wants the destruction of all regulations on labour, human rights, the environment and so on, to enable unfettered money making. They are consciously creating a world in which corporates can shovel up even more dosh from us. They see the EU and environmental campaigns as inconveniences and obstructions to their ends.

This is not a new project: it has been in progress…

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