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Small-handed, bouffant, bloated, bloviating fuckwad. Non-builder of walls. Son of frigid sociopathic privilege. Man baby. Rich kid. Cry baby. Man boob. Master of delusion. Twitter Tourettic. Fabulist. Anacoluthon. Blob. Orange supremacist. Racist. Narcissist. Solipsist. Arriviste. Arsonist. Insurrectionist. Knee-jerk-jerk-jerk fascist, champion of Tiki torch warriors. Golfer. America’s Nero. Emperor encephalitis. Parasite. Mushroom prick. Cockwomble. Chump. Cunt. … Continue reading 45

The behind the scenes deals that seal no deal

Of course there’s no deal. There was never meant to be a deal.  The talk, the manoeuvring, the posturing, the negotiations have been an elaborate pantomime, a pretence at getting a deal because no deal was what Johnson and his sponsors actually wanted. No deal was a hard sell to the British public so the … Continue reading The behind the scenes deals that seal no deal

The prettiest Priti of all possible pretty Pritis

Priti Patel is not a bully. We know that because when she heard we were doing an article on her, she came round, broke our pencils, put gravel in the coffee maker, then set fire to the hamster and smacked our heads with its smoking remains.  So that’s clear and definite, then.  Priti is not … Continue reading The prettiest Priti of all possible pretty Pritis

Priti’s balls-up of string

Build a wall, and build it of finest string! This is Priti Patel in Trump mode on discovering that bricks and barbed wire don’t float.  As democracy burns in the UK, Prime Minister Cummings is determined we should keep our eyes firmly locked on displaced families floundering in the Channel, and there is no better … Continue reading Priti’s balls-up of string

Twenty-seven uses for bananas — don’t choke when you see the last one!

How many uses for a banana are there? I can think of a few. mimikaki ear cleaner for people with large earsif tied to the bottom of feet they are a cheap alternative to roller blades by virtue of the slippy quality of banana skinsa crutch for a small person a device for cleaning around the … Continue reading Twenty-seven uses for bananas — don’t choke when you see the last one!

That UK-Japan trade triumph celebrated

From our man in Japan Congratulations to Britain on winning its first post-Brexit trade deal — and with mighty Japan, no less.  The champions of the bill tell us triumphantly that Britain can now sell lamb and stilton in unlimited quantities with reduced tariffs to the eager gourmands of the far east.  What the Brexit … Continue reading That UK-Japan trade triumph celebrated