Ten things you definitely shouldn’t do while holding scissors

Here are ten things you shouldn't do while holding scissors: 1) Use the toilet. 2) Attend the school dance. 3)  Jump off the high dive at the public swimming pool. 4)  Go skydiving. 5)  Walk into the Louvre. 6)  Show up at a hospital nursery. 7)  Look your best friend in the eyes and say, … Continue reading Ten things you definitely shouldn’t do while holding scissors

Tory Twats — no.27 in an infinite series — Lord Bethell

The Right Royal Cockwomble Award, an all-too-frequent honour bestowed exclusively by The Cannibal’s Gazette. The Right Honourable The Lord ‘Jim’ Bethell Lord Bethell this week reassured a nation of dispossessed teens whose life chances have just been shit away by a Tory shit-making algorithm that having your head forcibly held in a bucket of liquid … Continue reading Tory Twats — no.27 in an infinite series — Lord Bethell

How rapey is your MP?

In the news this week, yet another Conservative MP has allegedly been caught with someone else’s underpants down. An as-yet unnamed former minister has been arrested on charges of rape and sexual assault.  Once again, an elected representative has elected to get stuck in as only a right honourable gentleman knows how.  The nation waits … Continue reading How rapey is your MP?