Here are ten things you shouldn’t do while holding scissors:
1) Use the toilet.
2) Attend the school dance.
3) Jump off the high dive at the public swimming pool.
4) Go skydiving.
5) Walk into the Louvre.
6) Show up at a hospital nursery.
7) Look your best friend in the eyes and say, “You have such beautiful skin.”
8) Walk around your friend’s house repeating, “Where’s the dog? Where’s the dog?”
9) Draw back the curtain suddenly while your spouse is taking a shower and yell, “Surprise!”
10) Do five shots of tequila, look at someone next to you in the bar, and say, “I’m gonna get laid tonight for sure!”
Words and art by Nails Nathan
The Cannibal's Gazette 