Author: chris page

Author of the novels Another Perfect Day in ****ing Paradise, Sanctioned, Weed, King of the Undies World, The Underpants Tree, and the story collection Un-Tall Tales. Editor, freelance writer, occasional cartoonist, graphic designer, and all that stuff. At heart he is a London person, but the rest of his body is in long-term exile in Osaka, Japan.

UKIP news – Nigel Farage is not a fish

A UKIP spokesperson today confirmed that leader Nigel Farage is not in fact a fish. 'I can confirm that Nigel is not in fact a fish,' said the UKIP spokesperson, speaking on condition he not be grilled or turned into a piquant carpaccio. 'He just smokes like a fish,' the spokesperson who isn't a fish … Continue reading UKIP news – Nigel Farage is not a fish

After the European vote: Where next for England?

The results of the European election are in. Now it’s clear that England, fed up with neighbours, noise and diversity, has voted to leave Europe, the Cannibal asks which continent the country would like to join instead.   North America At first glance a winner: right next door to all those film stars and super-size servings … Continue reading After the European vote: Where next for England?

Revealed: how the Titanic didn’t sink

Today the startling truth was revealed about the fate of the infamous cruise liner the Titanic. For over 100 years it was thought that the Titanic hit an iceberg in the Atlantic and sank with the loss of over 1,500 lives. In reality, the Titanic did not sink, but after discharging its passengers sailed on … Continue reading Revealed: how the Titanic didn’t sink