Today we bring you an exclusive interview with the prime minister of the United Kingdom: Mr David Cameron.
Cannibal’s Gazette: Mr Cameron, thank you for agreeing to talk to us.
David Cameron: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: Germany has agreed to take hundreds of thousands of the Syrian refugees that have flooded into Europe, but Britain has agreed to take only 24,000 over two years. Why such a difference to Germany’s response?
DC: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: Moreover, there is a government plan to deport the children of refugees when they become 18 years old. What is the thinking behind that?
DC: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: ISIS. The government said that it would not bomb ISIS in Syria, yet RAF drones are doing precisely that. What’s that about?
DC: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: Those drones seem to used as assassination tools, targeting British members of ISIS. These people are being killed, yet there is no due process. How can you justify an assassination programme?
DC: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: Does the government keep a hit list of British ISIS members with the intention of killing them?
DC: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: Badger culls are based on bad science, they are expensive and have no effect. How do you justify persisting with them?
DC: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: You have promised to be the greenest government this country has ever seen, but you are stopping funds to green projects. Is that not inconsistent?
DC: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: The policy of austerity has been discredited by many economists, is unpopular with the people of this country and leads to suffering. Why do you cling to this policy?
DC: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: Are you going to report on or investigate the deaths of people from whom benefits have been withheld?
DC: Jeremy Corbyn is a threat to national security.
CG: In what way is Jeremy Corbyn a threat to national security?
DC: …
CG: Prime Minister?
DC: Look, if you are going to sink to gotcha questions, I’m afraid I can’t go on with this interview. Goodbye.
The Cannibal's Gazette 