The Cannibal Interview — with Nigel Farage

Today, the Cannibal is privileged to meet the leader of Britain’s favourite maverick party — scourge of mainstream politics, Nigel Farage of UKIP.

Cannibal’s Gazette: What is the biggest issue facing Britain today?

Nigel Farage: Immigration!

CG: Climate change caused by the activity of humans is threatening to cause unprecedented destruction to lives, the environment and economies. What is UKIP’s plan to tackle this? NF: Immigration!

CG: Neoliberalism is tightening its grip, funnelling ever more money from the pockets of hardworking people into the coffers of corporations, who have co-opted and appropriated the infrastructure of democracy including the political parties that are supposed to represent the people. These corporations are carving up the NHS, education, even welfare, destroying job security and the living wage, commodifying everything from the water we need, our health, our future, to free speech. They are eroding human rights, including the right to life. How do you stand on this and what do you intend to do to protect democracy and hardworking people?

NF: Immigration!

CG: Congestion on the roads?

NF: Immigration!

CG: Drugs?

NF: Immigration!

CG: Crime?

NF: Immigration!

CG: War, pestilence, the Four Riders of the Apocalypse, bad weather?

NF: Immigration! Immigration! Immigration! Immigration!

CG: What day of the week is it?

NF: Immigration!

CG: Would you like a cup of tea?

NF: Immigration!

CG: Thank you very much, Mr Farage. It has been very exciting talking to you.

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