If you are innocent, you have nothing to fear

I was sitting in the bath the other night when I was surprised to see a periscope rise out of the water at my feet. A glassy eye in the lens fixed on me while I attempted to preserve some dignity with my flannel.

‘Do not be alarmed,’ said the periscope.

‘Why not?’ I asked. ‘You’re in my bath.’

‘Just routine government surveillance,’ the periscope assured me. ‘We do it to everyone. If you’re innocent, you’ve nothing to fear.’

(Continue reading … )