I was sitting in the bath the other night when I was surprised to see a periscope rise out of the water at my feet. A glassy eye in the lens fixed on me while I attempted to preserve some dignity with my flannel.
‘Do not be alarmed,’ said the periscope.
‘Why not?’ I asked. ‘You’re in my bath.’
‘Just routine government surveillance,’ the periscope assured me. ‘We do it to everyone. If you’re innocent, you’ve nothing to fear.’
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